That's the only way to describe John Key's proposed "inquiry" into Judith Collins:
An inquiry into the events surrounding Judith Collins' downfall will not examine the relationship between her and Whale Oil blogger Cameron Slater or the Serious Fraud Office investigation into Hanover Finance, Prime Minister John Key says.
Opposition parties are calling for a broad inquiry, but Mr Key said it will instead be confined to the conduct of Ms Collins and her relationship with Adam Feeley, the former head of the SFO.
But Mr Key rejected a broader inquiry. "I just don't think that's warranted. The Opposition would want to make those claims because they simply want to use this as a way to make it bigger than it is, or to smear the Government.
The problem for Key is that this sort of obvious strapped chicken exercise to clear his Minister by deliberately blinding the investigators will convince no-one. Everyone can see it is bullshit, and they will treat its findings accordingly. And by trying to protect Collins, Key is making it clear that he supports dirty politics.
In any case he has no choice in the matter. Winston Peters has just said that a full royal commission of inquiry into dirty politics will be a bottom line in government formation. So, either Key cleans house properly, or he will no longer be Prime Minister.