Thursday, September 06, 2007


I've been busy today, and I was planning to make my submission on the Electoral Finance Bill tonight. But a reader has just sent me a link to part of parliament's website which allows you to submit online on the Falling Sky (Acorn) Prevention Bill.

How could I possibly resist?

Submission on the Falling Sky (Acorn) Prevention Bill:

  1. I oppose the Falling Sky (Acorn) Prevention Bill and ask that the committee recommends it not proceed.
  2. The scientific community is united in its consensus that the sky is falling, and that this poses a significant threat to humanity. Consequences include headaches, bruising, and eventual death as we are all crushed beneath its terrible weight.
  3. However, the bill is inconsistent with the fundamental human rights affirmed in the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, and the UN Declaration on Human Rights. Human sacrifice may succeed if it pleases Toutatis (or, alternatively, Hastur; YMMV), but is a clear violation of human rights.
  4. I therefore recommend that the bill not proceed. Instead, Parliament should pass a Falling Sky Response Act, providing for the mass distribution of cyanide so that we may all commit mass suicide before the weight of the heavens grows too oppressive.
  5. I do not wish to appear before the committee.

I wonder what response I'll get?