Thursday, September 15, 2005

Planning for the big night

With election day fast approaching, it's time to start planning for the big night. I'll be going to Wellington, and watching the results while indulging in the traditional chocolate fondue (I blame Muerk for this, BTW). The only question is what to drink. If the left wins, then the answer is fairly obvious - crack open a bottle of faux champagne. But what should I drink if it looks like Brash will win on the night? A cup of cold tea? A cup of cold sick? Something strong to take the pain away? Or something that leaves a bitter aftertaste and a sense of stomach-churning dread the next morning?

I don't expect to be doing much posting on election day; the Electoral Act forbids media statements which could influence voters on the day itself. And I've certainly got no intention of live-blogging the results - I'd be doing nothing more than regurgitating whatever was on the TV anyway. If you are interested, results will be online at from about 20:30 onwards.

Finally, given that I've pretty much focused on the election recently, I'm now wondering what the hell I'm going to blog about when it's all over...


I/S - I share your sense of confusion, but have settled on:

Labour lead/win: 12 Lion Reds

National lead/win: 18 Lion Reds (on the basis that I'm going to feel like shit on Sunday regardless).

Might do some drunken live blogging too, not that it will have any particular merit other than being a bit of fun.

Posted by dc_red : 9/15/2005 11:49:00 AM

I'm going to be at home watching TV and the Internet - I have to front for Mediawatch the next morning - but I'll be getting in that all-occasions beverage: a fine bottle of single malt whisky.


Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 12:03:00 PM

I can't remember the name but I once saw a drink made with creme de cocao on the bottom and something white floating on top. If the Nats get in, it is a good symbolic drink for what they will do to the country.
Years ago, in Australia, Keating won the unwinnable election. I can speak from personal experience that drinking most of a bottle of Port is not a good idea, as humorous as it seemed at the time.

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 12:07:00 PM

I've been following this bloody thing from across the ditch. My One True has told me that under no circumstances will she countenance me spending Saturday hunched in front of the 'puter, swearing.

So we go bush for the weekend. No equilibrium disturbing bandwidth out there.

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 12:31:00 PM

After the election, no matter which way it goes I imagine there will be a continuing need to try to keep the politicians honest.

Also perhaps to attempt to prolong the memory of the voting public.

I guess whatever happens I grin and bear it, if its too bad I guess I get involved and try to change it.

On the night I think I will try to ignore it as long as possible.

- BB :-)

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 01:13:00 PM

My Beer suggestions would be...

Labour - Limburg Hopslapper (oops wasn't it hopsmacker)

National - Big Dogs Kilt Sniffer Ale - Medium brown, Upsets the stomach, tastes thin, lacks body like it's been watered down.

ACT - A bottle of Robitussin or Lychee Liquer as you see fit (probably both)

Greens - Emersons Organic Pilsener. Full of hops, pine, grass, citrus, pale golden green in colour - herbal overtones.

United (no) Future - Rheineck, little if any flavour, cheap but regurgitates well.

Progressives - Church Brew Pious Monk Dunkel - a short head that reduces quickly, a thin wisp of foam remains, a typically weak dunkel but not all that offensive

NZ First - Probably Orkney Skull Splitter, a hint of smoke, a little to thick and syrupy sweet to be a favorite.

Posted by Steve : 9/15/2005 02:26:00 PM

I'm assuming one or other major political party will be having a leadership election.

There'll also be a no doubt bitter tussle within ACT about whether they merge with the Nats, become a non-parliamentary ginger group, try and purchase an offshore island to start a pure market based society, etc.

Posted by Rich : 9/15/2005 02:32:00 PM

If Labour get in, there'll be plenty of work to be done defending the OIA from being gutted by Cullen et al. If National get in (god help us), there'll be plenty of OIA requests to put in, to keep the bastards 'honest' (and I use that term loosely).

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 02:55:00 PM

Honey, if Labour gets in I'll break out a bottle of the good stuff too....but if National does then I won't need anything to bring on a bitter aftertaste or gut-wrenching, nauseating, sense of dread.

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 02:59:00 PM

National - any Pale Ale... obvious really, for the party of pale males.

Labour - Lion Red... Better red than dead.

United Future - Water... afterall, Sunday is a family day.

Greens - Green Man Lager... ('scuse the plug but it is certainly worth a try).

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 02:59:00 PM

In that Scoop article, I find the instructions a little confusing:

On Election Day, candidates, political parties and others must:

..skipped a bit..

* Not display clothing (such as T-shirts) promoting a party or candidate. Parties, party supporters or candidates may

* Wear party lapel badges (including rosettes) in public bearing the party's name, emblem, slogan or logo (but not the candidate's name).

Is this saying that they must wear party lapel badges? (And in the next two points, must display streamers on cars, and must offer to help people get to polling locations)


Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 03:20:00 PM

Drinking will give way to the datura should national win.

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 03:41:00 PM

How about Hemlock?

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 03:47:00 PM

The English cricket team has honed their drinking skills over many years, before evolving the concept of:
1. beat the Aussies
2. get shit-faced

Prior to this they got pissed *before* and indeed during the test match - which didn't help. They used to be sponsored by a brewery I believe - and took the field in shirts with "Brew XI".

Posted by Rich : 9/15/2005 04:40:00 PM

If National win: I'll be staying sober, as I will want to be getting up nice and early the next morning to approach the Norwegian embassy re: immigrating. (And yes I know it will be a Sunday, but I am anticipating a queue).

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 05:04:00 PM

Seeing as I have resigned myself to a National victory and the establishment of a plutocracy, I will merely be watching the election coverage to see how much the margin of victory will be, and to see if ACT, NZF the MP and the Greens get much seats, if any.

Once National wins, I will endeavour to avoid any newspaper or website due to the fact that I dont really want it rubbed in.

Seeing as I do not drink alcohol, I will be stone cold sober, and reflecting on the fact that at least Sweden, Venuzeula, Brazil, Finland, Moldova, Germany, Argentina, Ecuador at least still have left wing governments, and that at least I, as a member of the unemployed, will get to work out in the bush planting trees and erecting rabbit-proof fences for below minimum wage, and if I hurt myself badly, I will be making a rather undignified exit on the floor of an underfunded hospital emergency room.

But hey, at least we get to move up in the Great OECD Pissing Contest.

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 05:05:00 PM

Prior to this they got pissed *before* and indeed during the test match - which didn't help. They used to be sponsored by a brewery I believe - and took the field in shirts with "Brew XI".

I can confirm that the night before the concluding one-dayer of their notorious tour here in the 1980s, they were doing a bit more than getting pissed. Elton John (yes! really!) was in town and it was his birthday so he hired out a restaurant in Ponsonby Road and invited some of his cricket friends ...

They lost the game. Badly.


Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 05:08:00 PM

Drink if your side loses - Cheap Cider. I've odne that before (we would be supportign differet sides, BTW).

And, for those amateur economic pundits who have posted here, the economy is slowing already. Has been for several months. (see any bank economist's bulletin since about April; and, more recnelty, the Reserve Bank's monetary policy statement this morning.)

You can't pin that one on the Nats.

Posted by Unknown : 9/15/2005 05:59:00 PM

Plans for the night: Vote, then ignore all the hoo hah until there's actually something vaguely resembling a discernible trend. Probably watch a DVD or two.

Drinks once a result is known:
National - Speight's Old Dark.
Labour - Speight's Old Dark.
Nat / ACT - Speight's Old Dark.
Lab / Green - Speight's Old Dark.
Winston First / Mirror - Speight's Old Dark.
Because politicians come and go, but beer is always good. Unless it's lager.

- Dave J. in Invercargill

Posted by Anonymous : 9/15/2005 09:57:00 PM

"politicians come and go, but beer is always good."

What an excellent saying.

Posted by Asher : 9/16/2005 12:57:00 PM

Mmmm... chocolate fondue. I accept the blame.

If National wins I think you should drink cheap nasty vodka, because after all that's all us poor buggers will be able to afford after we morgage the country to give to the rich.

Think Russian, Chekhovian acceptance of dying in the winter snows. Poor hungry serfs limping after their wealthy betters. In fact it might time to drag out the great Russian classics and remind ourselves that hunger, sickness and cruelty are nothing new.

Gee, it will be the 80's ALL over again, only with a 70's oil crisis combined. And with waaay worse music.

Makes mine a meths!

Posted by Muerk : 9/16/2005 10:22:00 PM